Whites judge a person good or loving if there is something positive coming from inside a person toward an other. For a Lakota "to love" is "to cause something positive and good in the other." Consequently, the Lakota do not get hung up with the question whether an action originates from free will to be a loving act. A mother, who unretlectively picks up a child to comfort it from its crying, may be acting reflexively, but she is still acting lovingly—according to the Lakota. By their deeds and not their reflection will you know them. Consequently, it is easier for a Lakota to say that this morning when my horse took me out to fix fence and I later fed him, we loved each other and felt a lot closer to each other than I do with many of the people down the road. Certainly one's horse has its own nature or way and relationships are closest with one's family and relatives. Nonetheless, for a Lakota, love can bridge differences of nature both ways...for are we not all relatives, mitakuye oyae in?

— The Pipe and Christ by William Stolzman (Page 130)