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Knowing what I know today, I think there's real irony in the fact that Congress spent all that money to create and rebuild Iraq when it refuses to spend money that's needed in our own U.S. prison system—money to teach real life Improvement skills to men who really need it, for example. Not to mention the insane money our country waste on incarcerating people who could be dealt with, punished, in alternative ways.

— From Jailer to Jailed by Bernard B. Kerik (Page 126)

Courtney had assigned me to the cubicle of Anthony Dorsey, Sr., a heavyset sixty-one-year-old black man from Baltimore. Shortly after we introduced ourselves, he asked me, "Was nine-eleven a conspiracy?" I laughed and thought to myself, "Everything is a conspiracy man."

— From Jailer to Jailed by Bernard B. Kerik (Page 11)

During my final processing I thought, "Three years of my life wasted and you're giving me a check for twenty dollars for my leftover commissary?" It almost reminded me of Iraq in 2003, where I watched people step over dead bodies, watch people get used to or ignore death, ignore the destruction.

— From Jailer to Jailed by Bernard B. Kerik (Page 98)

All work and no play makes a safer airplane.

— How to Do Everything by Red Green

In my home town everyone is Lutheran. Even the atheists are Lutheran.

— The Lake Wobegon virus by Garrison Keillor